Plane, Pain & Pootwa!

Ever try packing for a month's stay? Yeah? Well good for you you deserve a prize because for me it was hard as Hell. Getting my proverbial house in order was a lot harder than I was quite prepared for. There's laundry to be done, necessary provisions for my friend Stephanie who is caring for my babies & home needed, proper goodbyes to be said, drinks to be had & let's not even get into the actual act of packing. Ok I knew Atlanta was having better weather than LA, but turns out... um... I still packed wrong. Anyone who is familiar w/the movie Mr. Mom will appreciate this analogy. In the movie Michael Keaton's character is driving his kids to school for the first time & of course the poor bastard goes the wrong way & not only are his kids informing him he is going the wrong way, but mothers are too. Finally one woman rolls down her window... yes there was one time in life you actually, physically had to hand roll down & up your car window. Anyways, now that I've pointed out that I am a dinosaur, I will continue. The mother rolls down her window & Keaton's character thinks she's going to say "hi" and she looks at him w/this scowl and states quite matter of factly w/a hint of bitch... "You're doing it wrong!"

With that said... I felt I was doing it wrong. All of it! Thursday Morning arrives, Prime Time Shuttle picks me up @ 5:40am on the dot. I love them because they arrive on time & get you to your destination w/so much time to spare it isn't even funny. So I arrive & check in & of course I have to check my massive suitcase which incidentally I got for $50 & could fit myself along w/a few friends in it. It's huge. Again... a month's stay equals a lotta stuff. I get up to the counter to hand over my bag after having just paid the stupid $25 baggage fee & I am suddenly informed that I am 14 lbs overweight. Say what now? The guy then proceeds to ask if I would like to discard the excess 14 lbs. I replied back, "Where exactly do you suggest I put the excess 14 lbs? My ass?" I was now agitated & told the guy that there was no where to put it so what's the damage? The damage... the damage was $90. This is on top of the $25 I just paid. I was to say the least... NOT a happy camper. THEN it's off to security. I walk through just fine, but am asked to step aside so they can check my carry on bag. This guy informs me I can not at any time touch anything in the bag while he searches it. Um.. ok... not a problem, you're the one who has to go through a bunch of lacy bootie shorts (for comfort after my surgery... I mean if you have to wear an uncomfortable pad to begin with, ya need a lil' feminine comfort to boot... no pun intended) So back to security guy... he takes only what can be described as a tab like object, the kind you pull from a "Take A Number" machine... and he starts essentially giving my bag a swabbing like it's for a paternity test or something. Finally he grabs this satin pouch I have that is filled w/all my "good" jewelry. THIS is the culprit? The family jewels! See you have to understand this is a tad ironic because just the day before BOTH my mother & sister-in-law recommended either I hide my good jewelry or have a friend hold on to it since I'd be gone for so long in case of a robbery. I just thought bring it. I mean it's hardly the crown jewels, but I do have some very important & cherished pieces. Anyhoo... THIS is what causes security to check my bag. I then asked If I get the same treatment next, the guy looked at me & scowled & I said, "Can't blame a girl for tryin' I mean you can't rape the willing can ya?"

Keep in mind that day was St. Paddy's Day, so not only was it acceptable to have a cocktail before 7:30am, at this point after what I went through, it was NECESSARY! So I'm sitting enjoying a very spicy Bloody Mary (Breakfast of champs) I could swear I just saw Kevin Connelly of Entourage pass by. Nah... I had to be wrong. I know it's LA, but what celeb travels that early? It would be unheard of in my mind since they're all such lil' needy pansies. Time passes & it's time to board and as I walk through 1st class who do I see sitting in a window seat trying to conceal himself... Kevin Connelly himself. He's cute, but definitely a lil' guy. I get to my seat & just crash. Later I DO see Kevin walk by this time w/a baseball hat & sunglasses on going towards the bathroom. Ok celebrities... do you REALLY think we can't notice you because you are donning a hat & glasses? I mean it's like Hannah Montana... Blonde/Brunette... come on! It's the same girl. Are you REALLY that dumb? I find that show insulting in and of itself for that simple fact, yet I was at one time guilty of watching the show... constantly!

When I awake I am touching down in Atlanta airport where incidentally my brother is flying in from San Fran. He texts me & tells me to meet him in baggage claim. So I get off the plane & begin travels towards baggage when who do I see coming the opposite direction? Kevin Connelly! Now I kid you not, but he gives me the ol' up down checkout locks eyes w/me & gives the most panty soaking smile at least I could ever receive! He def is a charmer with that smile. Needless to say that smile washed away any crap that affected me earlier that morning.
I mean... he is cute. A tad Hobbit sized, but cute.

Anyhoo... I make it to baggage & meet up w/my brother & we're off to his home which is just outside of Atlanta. I am relaxing already knowing I am safe & sound w/my big brother. He has always been there for me. He is my protector, my hero. HE is the real reason I think I'm single because they say girls usually look to marry a man like their dad, since mt dad wasn't always around (parents divorced when I was young. He's a great guy don't get me wrong, but my brother was just there more) it was my brother that I always looked for in other guys. Needless to say none of my exes were my brother. And why? Because there is only one... and he's my brother & he's taken. I love him so much I am thrilled I get to spend this much time with him. I'm very lucky.

So we get to his house & essentially only have time to drop off my bags & pick his wife up as my nephew's lacrosse game is getting ready to start. Lacrosse is one of my favorite sports as I played it from Jr. High all the way to college. It's a great sport & aside from soccer... in my opinion has some of the best looking players. Ok, but for me to go to a high school game w/this thought... not right at all. After the game was over & some of the BOYS took their shirts off... Oh forget it I just felt dirty & wrong. When did high school boys begin to look like this??? It's just not right. Now... I would NEVER... EVER dream of being w/anyone super young. I did it once, he was 25 relax! He knows who is as as do my friends... great guy, but yes... young. BUT... with these high school boys I kinda see why the whole hot for teacher thing in the reverse could happen. AGAIN... I'm just sayin', but not in any way considering so no need to alert the authorities.

So... LAX game ends, we come home to what is an AMAZING dinner of steak cooked by my brother. I am quickly learning w/the kid's schedules of sports, my brother & his family eat quite late, but hey... I'm still on West Coast time so I indulge. And then it's time to sleep. I slept like I hadn't in years and it was pure bliss.

I am doing my best to play catch up & bring everyone to the current time, but still so much has occurred it's just hard. Tomorrow I will catch everyone up w/my actual meet & greet w/Dr. Ira & give the current situation a once over. I promise.

Until then... I say it again.. Ladies & Gents, Sisters & Brothers... EARLY DETECTION is KEY! Check yourself before you wreck yourself cause let's be honest... Cancer is so bad for yourself!

Love to all that are following, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, words of encouragement & just all around love is so greatly appreciated. More than you may know.

Until the next post...

Ovaries Out!

-L